Hi ladies

Wow it's been a long long time since I've been here. Just stopped by to read a few posts and thought I'd say hi and it's great to see that you guys are still here albeit not super frequent. I hope lives are going well and it sounds like families have been growing.

I think of you every Christmas season.

it just figures...

well hell. i wrote a long, poignant response that was both heartfelt and witty and the blog wouldn't let me post it as a comment. reminds me of college when i accidentally erased my term paper three times. you would have thought that i would save it as i typed but no, i was an idiot. anyway, here is an abbreviated version of what i wrote- i am at peace with being pregnant again. i always wanted another child and i guess this is the gods' way of telling me the time is now. and i'm Irish catholic so we're used to packing them in tight :) i have not told anyone else yet (except for you ladies) since the timing has not been right. i think that i also had to come to terms with it before i could expect anyone else to. i am so lucky to have ya'll in my life. after 8yrs, i knew that i could count on you to understand. to be completely honest, i am not looking forward to my family's reaction. dan will probably stroke. well, that's a bit of an exaggeration. if we have our fourth girl, then he'll stroke. my mother will be quite surprised but has always been supportive. my sister and brother-in-law, though.... that's where the problems will start. it doesn't help that they have been disappointed and angry at every announcement. but after the initial shock, then they are quite supportive and loving. i think that it will help when i tell them that dan and i will be hiring a nanny. it has been getting too difficult to get babysitters for the 3 girls so 4 will be a monumental task. it's going to kill our finances but we'll find a way. it will also be nice to have someone that i know will be there every week without having to make a dozen phone calls and arrangements. again, i would like to thank you ladies for your support and love. we have been through a lot and have always been able to share our life experiences together. i appreciate our bond more than words can convey love kri

Upcoming Deployment

I haven't told many people this but Ron is deploying this summer. He will be somewhere in the middle east (if he knows he can't tell me yet) and should be gone for 6 months.

Already we are seeing problems with the kids. Theodore wouldn't give Ron a hug or kiss for about a month after we told him. Vivian cries a lot and we can't watch or listen to news while she is around because anything about that area upsets her. Samuel has been regressing, which is really tough since he has made terrific progress in the past year.

I have a hard time processing how they are handling it. I was born and raised with the military. I remember understanding that conflict anywhere in the world could mean Dad was gone for weeks to months (including not seeing him for 18 months in one go). I remember missing him, but not being really upset, scared, or even crying.

Their reactions are normal, especially since he last deployed almost 8 years ago (we consider it lucky how long it has been since the last one, the Air Guard is much better about it than the Army Guard). They don't remember it.

Their schools have been supportive and we have friends who are making it much easier. My job has been great too. I have been unable to get a regular babysitter so I can keep working and they have told me to just give them a call when I am ready to return and they will put me back to work.

This deployment is bothering me more than the last one. He was on an island off the Saudi coast last time and there was a lot of popular support for the military on it. This time we know he will be in the middle of the dessert, things are scary over there right now. I have had nightmares about people in their dress uniforms ringing my doorbell. I will say that actually having done the same job that he does makes me less scared than I would be since I know exactly what he'll be doing and what the job entails (he won't be on the front line with an M16).

....oh shit....

hello lovelies - i need some help and i'm not sure who i can talk to at this time. i think that i am pregnant again. i took a home test last night because my period is a few days late and it came up (+). fuck. fuck fuck fuck. i have not shared this with anyone and i really didn't think that i was pregnant. now i am trying to figure out what to do. many years ago (pre-kids) i had an abortion and i don't think that i can do that again. it's not that i don't want another child, it's just that factoring in another one is going to be tough. i burned up most of my overtime on maternity leave with carys. it's hard enough trying to get babysitters for 3 kids while working. i know my family is going to be so disappointed. i can already see the look on my sister's face and can imagine the lecture that is going to follow. overall, it's mainly the financial issue that is stressing me out. if i was rich and could hire babsitters and pay school tuitions without blood/sweat/tears, i would be chill right now. oh yeah, we also live in a 2 bedroom house. we are trying to pay off a loan so that we can renovate this house and add a 2nd floor but that is at least two years away. i spent several hours last night sitting alone on the porch thinking of ways to make/save money. do i have things to sell (old jewelry, furniture), should i start working 5 shifts a week, could we kill off dan's mother for his inheretance ? (just kidding, i love Ann- i'll just rob her instead). funny enough, the prospect of a 4th child doesn't scare me. once you have 3, you are so used to living and functioning in organized chaos that it is perfectly normal. but everything else ? that is scaring the hell out of me. this is mostly stream of conciousness writing so ignore all errors :) right now i just need a friend xoxo kri

new year - new women

hello ladies -
it's funny how i still check this site every week and yet find it so difficult to write a quick post. life gets too chaotic....especially with the three girls. carys is going on 11mo and is still the sweetest thing ever. have a feeling that this is all a show - one day she'll be 16, covered in tatoos, and raiding the liquor cabinet :) she started walking at 9 1/2mo and is a full-fledged thumb sucker. avery will be starting kindergarten in august (god willing !!). she still has a very strong lisp but i will be contacting a speech therapist this week. last year they evaluated her and said it was normal and that she would outgrow it. now i just worry that other kids will tease her and that adults will treat her as a baby. overall, though, avery is my handful. stubborn, sensitive, more stubborn. pretty much me at age 4. oh hell. reily is doing well. very, very hyper but happy. she is a gem with her little sisters. as for me, busting my ass at work. it appears that i am the floating queen of the hospital. i am charge nurse (running the unit) half the time on any of the 3 med-surg floors. i also do telemetry (heart) monitoring for ~ 70 patients. also floated to ICU, CCU, PACU, TATU, BMT, Peds, etc. i'm technically a cardiac nurse but half the time i'm put somewhere else. it confuses the hell out of the MD's. last week they unofficially asked me if i would want to be a supervisor on 7 but i respecfully declined. 7 is an ortho/trach floor and i am a cardiac RN. surgery patients make my ass itch :) we may have an opening for a supervisor on my floor this year which i would LOVE to have but i think that they would chose someone else. there is another nurse with 4 more months of experience than me (even though i have floated to more diverse units more often). she is also more pliable whereas i speak my mind. but we shall see what the future holds
long enough post for now. you are all in my heart and i think of ya'll often. especially everyone up north 'cause i know you're FREEZING YOUR ASSES OFF !!!!

xoxo
kri

It's been quiet on here.....
:) Took some pics of the kids this week. It took 2 trys to get Caden to cooperate...
Riley LOVEs posing for the camera, silly girl.
Matt's still trying to figure out how to "smile" the right way (he likes to hold his teeth funny- with the top and bottom teeth touching like you're biting something)..
Ashley- well, wow, what can I say, she has grown up!! !
Hope all is well with all the "not so baby" babies here!!
xoxoxo sarah

silence isn't always golden

well ladies, it looks like we are all busy with the typical back-to-school stuff. on my end, carys cut her first tooth and started crawling at 6mo. reily is a rambunctious 1st grader - i think she is officially a kid now. she also survived her first sleep over. her friend, Gia, is Jewish so reily went to a service with them and then out to dinner. reily comes up to me later stating that she LOVES jewish food (ie turkey and gravy). ahh kids, always finding new ways to embaress you. avery is still a stinker. didn't take reily's sleepover with much grace. now all she wants to do is have a sleepover. work is a beast. they have me as a back-up charge nurse and, at times, i feel like a prison bitch. monday was especially trying. had two codes (one died), found out one of my nurses' son has cancer (she got the call while at work that day), etc etc. to put it mildly, it was a god awful day. but today was a beautiful day - warm 80's with a breeze, construction crew tearing down a blighted property, we refinanced for 3.8%. ooohhh yeah, we started cocktail hour a wee bit earlier than usual today.
hope all is well, as i'm sure it is. gotta get the girls to bed so mommy can relax before work tomorrow

much love
xoxo
kri

yay!!!! First day of school was a success.....
Ashley is a Freshman, Matt in Middle School, Riley in 1st grade, and Caden, well, he's just hanging with momma at home...

:)
Riley had her 6th Birthday August 16th. We took Cupcakes to school. At home, we had a party afew days beforehand, but then also had a cookie cake on the actual day...
my baby is growing up!
Will post pics...when I can get the computer to cooperate!!!
xoxoxoxoxox

School's Here

Marystarr, Sorry to hear about Matt's father. I hope that everyone is healing from the loss.

Maigan, It sucks that you were laid off, but I hope that you enjoy your time as a stay-at-home parent. It really is a rewarding career.

School has officially started for my kids. Samuel was picked up by bus this morning and was eager to go show his teachers his Star Wars Lego shirt and backpack. I can't believe how big all of our kids are getting.

Theodore is enjoying one last day of mommy time before he starts school (just half days everyday but Wednesday). We are going to grab some sandwiches and have lunch at a park soon.

Take Care,
Amy

multiple email accounts

just a quickie
marystarr-
how can i change my email for this blog to my gmail account ? is it possible ? i don't use my excite account but i still need it to sign in here. it's crazy frustrating

xoxo
kri