thanks

yup, that's my website for the pilates biz.  glad you all like it.  I took the pictures myself with my laptop using photobooth, and made the site on iweb.  Don't you just love macs?  i know i do.  they make rookies look like web designers.

Maigan it would be Wild-er ... and thanks for the amazingly sweet comments on my dancing.  You really made my day.  Just so you know I think you are pretty special too.  I think about you all so often and think it is amazing that I know people who live in Idaho and Iowa, New Orleans and South Carolina and Georgia, Wisconsin and Canada and India.  wow.  and what special, smart and fantastic women too...

Kri it is so good to hear from you.  You are not a bad mother you nut.  You know as well as I do that every child develops differently.  It is hard with a precocious and super early first child I think, because it skews the perspective about what is normal.  A girlfriend of mine was telling me that her first taught herself to read when she was four, just seemed to figure it out all on her own... but her second is just learning now at 6, which seems late but is in fact totally normal.  Don't give yourself a hard time.  Avery will come to things in her own time.  Bummer about the potty training resistance though, I am sure you would love to be out of diapers.  Are you really thinking of a third?  Good for you!  Congrats on the new car.

ok I have to go to sleep now...

MaryStarr

LOVE the names

LOVE the name wilder - it has a certain flare that i think will fit in with your family. that is also a great website. although i really think you should start holding sessions in new orleans. southern girls want firm butts too !
regarding reading, i can only get in about a book a week. a drastic decrease from my six-a-week average 4yrs ago. my problem is that once i get into a book, i can't put it down until i am finished. drives dan crazy.
also, we finally bought another car. having only one car was such a monumental pain in the ass and it was too much always trying to line things up. we bought a 95 Maxima that dan is in love with now. we'll keep the PT until we can afford the 4-door jeep. gas prices be damned, i love that car !
otherwise, not much to report. avery is getting better about speaking in sentences. her pronounciation is off but i can't tell if it is related to her being a late talker or if she will need speech therapy. reily was such an advanced talker that i found myself at a loss. avery is also resisting potty-training and letting go of the bottle. she's 2 1/2 yrs old now (july baby), when does this transition over from her being a late bloomer into me being a bad mom ?
i dreamt last night that i was pregnant with triplets. very disturbing. i mean honestly, how big would you get with THREE babies ? i think that i'm starting to get the itch for baby number 3. with a preschooler and toddler, i find myself thinking about newborns again.
sorry that i am not posting much about everyone else. i'm trying to type fast since i have a couple errands to run before getting the girls.
marystarr and maigan - i need your addresses. i sent out x-mas cards but yours were returned. think i still have old addresses in my book !

xoxo
kri

Name?

MaryStarr...how do you say your boy name...is it WILD-ER or WILL-DER?

Marystarr, I love the names you have. I really adore Phoebe but it just didn't ever make our final list. Have you considered Almanzo for a first name instead of Wilder? Just a suggestion. Glad to hear that you a feeling well. And wow those pictures are amazing.

I spent the weekend at my parents. My family does Christmas in January because my parents are smart enough to know that most of us do not like to travel on major holidays. Ron had guard drill so he couldn't be there. It was an interesting 8-hour car trip. Me, three children, and a dog (the person who was going to watch her backed out last minute so she came with).

We are excited because tomorrow we meet with the behavioral specialist to discuss what we can expect from treatments and what options there are for Samuels care. I have been mildly stressed lately. I just sometimes feel like there is so much to do and it is overwhelming.

Amy

Wow...

MaryStarr...I just checked out your website Reena posted...amazing. I find myself in awe every time I think about you...living in the Northwest I am not exactly surrounded by artists. It's very surreal for me when I think about the fact that I know a professional dancer...that may sound strange to you, but if you lived here you would understand. Northern Idaho and Eastern Washington and not exactly what you would call hubs for the arts!! If people have talent, they move away. I think it's really cool you are a dancer :) I know, I am a dork!!! Sucks about your mold issue...good thing you caught it before anybody got sick. Mold can pose serious health issues. Also...I really like your names! I can't remember...did you guys wait to find out with Ava or did you know she would be a girl the whole pregnancy?

Things here are good. Our 6 feet of snow from December melted away and we haven't had much more than an occasional dusting the entire month of January. It's been really cold though, so I have been grumpy. I love winter, but I need snow if it's going to be cold...when it's just cold and you can't go out and play it seems pointless. Eli is working at FedEx and it's going as good as can be expected. He's very depressed about walking away from flying, but we really didn't know what else to do. He wasn't getting enough hours and he didn't want to take an airline job that would take him away from our family...it is just a bad situation overall. Now we are working thru the reality that we spent years of our lives and many many thousands of dollars working towards a career that he had to abandon...he is still applying for local flight positions, but they are far and few between and the competition is fierce. I am confident it will all work out in the end, but it's not much fun right now.

Hugs to all!

Marystarr...

is this you:
http://www.movementforevolution.com/

If it is- WOW!!!

hi gals

hope everyone is well.  things have been crazy here because we found a mold infestation in our apartment three weeks ago... forgive me for being fairly absent.  after week one being a cleaning crew in the house and sleeping on the living room floor ( mold was mostly in the bedroom), week  two being painters in the house repainting the bedroom with mold resistant material, week three being removal and replacement of the bay windows in the entire front of our place (bedroom and living room) and all of the necessary moving and removing of furniture, I have been a busy lady.  thankfully it is finally wrapping itself up.

how is everybody else?  I am 23 weeks now, I have gained 13.5 pounds, and am feeling pretty well.  The baby is a little acrobat, super active.  Much moreso than Ava was at this stage I think.  Matt has been able to feel the baby moving around for almost three weeks, and now you can see it move through my clothes.  I am suddenly showing a lot too, I will try to take a picture for you all.  Don't know if I have mentioned but we have names all picked out.  This baby will have my last name, Hope, since Ava has Matt's last name, Gaughan.  That is fun.  We are looking forward to our family being complete.

Names are:

girl ~ Phoebe Brigid Hope

boy ~ Wilder Condon Hope

Now, no telling pregnant people you know.  I don't want to end up starting a nationwide baby name trend ;p  Anyways, Phoebe is a little bird and Ava means little bird so we like that.  Brigid is Matt's mothers name, and a very important Irish saint.  And I love how it looks written, with all the P's and B's and O's and E's.  Ava's name is all A's and N's and H's.  they look and sound nice together I think.  Wilder is a little nod to my favorite Author of all time, Laura Ingalls Wilder and her hunky hearthrob husband Almanzo Wilder who was always my childhood dream man.  It is uncommon yet still classic and a real name.  Definitely good for a boy and a man.  Condon means "dark haired wise man" in gaelic, it is a surname from Matt's family.  And if he is anything like his daddy he will be a dark haired wise man, and if he is like me he will be a wild child, so we love the name together.  Actually, I love them both so much I wich I could have them both.  just not enough to have three kids or go through pregnancy again.  This is definitely my last time around.

ok

love you all

MaryStarr

Reading

I mostly get a few pages in before bed, unless I get really obsessed with a book like the Harry Potter and Twilight series. Then I neglect many things to read :) I planned for babysitters the nights the last 2 Harry Potter books were released so I could get them at midnight and read all night long. And I got the Stephenie Meyer books for Christmas, which worked out well because the kids and I were all relaxing for that week. They were playing with their new toys while I was playing with mine :) We stayed indoors in pajamas most of that week. Remember Caleb my September baby is my youngest, and the three of them are at an awesome age for playing together!

I did not watch the inaugeration on TV but I caught up with some online articles. I found it interesting that stocks went down that day, and back up the next day.

Gen, I hope you are doing well. Let us know how things are when you get the chance. I did reply to that one post as a comment, but I realize that we haven't been utilizing the comment feature on the blog, so it might have been missed.

Hope everyone else is doing good! I just had some first time home buyers who closed on a house and now they are having problems with snow melting and leaking through an upstairs window, down the wall, and out the living room ceiling. We have reasons to think it was a pre-existing condition that the sellers didn't disclose as is required by law. Who knows, this may be my first time in court. I feel awful about it, and I loathe the other agent involved.

Inaugeration

I am sitting on the couch kind of vegging and watching the inauguration while Theodore plays watching the inauguration. I am truly moved by this all. Just exciting.

Amy

Good Morning

Reading with kids - I manage to, but it is kind of difficult for me. I tend to get wrapped up in reading and forget to do other things. Obviously if the kids needed something they would get it, but I would forget to make supper or clean the house (lots of nights of grilled cheese and apple slices for supper because it is quick and easy). I do miss nursing simply because I could read while nursing.

Gotta go get ready for work.

Amy

Book Time

Don't be too impressed by my reading ability...I actually read mostly when I am nursing and Allie falls asleep, or when I would go out to my car to pump. It was a way for me to pass the time. Now that she is only nursing at night, I have been slacking on my book time. I love reading because it puts my mind somewhere else. I tend to really obsess about stuff and it is a good stress relief for me. I need to get back into running now that my nursing days are coming to an end. We have a beautiful treadmill downstairs that I never use. Eli puts some miles on it every week, but I am a total lazy ass. I know it's good for me, but I just seem to have a million other things going on at all times.

Amy ~ I think it's so great you are able to tailor your normal routine to fit Samuel's needs. So what if you sing your way thru the supermarket??!! You've gotta do what you've gotta do for your little man!!

MaryStarr ~ Make sure you listen to your body and take some down time when you need it. If you get too exhausted you will just get sick, and that's the last thing you want right now.

Gen, Keep us posted when you can and know that you are in my thoughts.

Fragile X is a common cause of inherited mental disorders and is one of the more common known causes of autism (though it comprises a very small percentage of cases). More info at www.fraxa.org.

The final assessment was today and it is definitely autism. We have started some of the suggestions we received for handling Samuel (I look kind of silly going through stores singing things to him instead of telling but I don't care, it works). We are going to figure out some sort of pictorial schedule system for him, where he can look at something and know the schedule for the day and know what to expect to happen.

Amy

Hi lovelies

Wow, so much happening!

Amy, it sounds like you are handling the situation with Samuel REALLY well... both practically and emotionally speaking.  I am happy for him that you are his mother, because I know that no matter how hard things may be you will always be his comfort and his champion, and you will always see to it that he gets what he needs to have a happy and successful education and childhood.  I also was wondering what Fragile X syndrome is?  When you get a moment would you let us know...

Maigan and Michelle you have me intrigued about those books.  Too bad I haven't had time to read a book since 2004... what was it that happened in 2004 again?  Oh yeah... motherhood.  So to working moms who have time to read one book let alone a series of them I say BRAVO, and let me have some of whatever you're drinking ;p

Gen, it sounds like you have done something very brave and very hard yet absolutely necessary.  We are with you sister, fill us in a bit when you can?  Be strong.  You are doing the right thing by following your heart and protecting yourself and your kids.  Big hugs.

I am so so so so so so so so tired today.  Yesterday I taught from 7:30 am to 7 pm.. I had breaks but I did see 6 clients, plus I worked out super hard in the middle of the day and after work I met a girlfriend for dinner since I hadn't seen her in 1000 years.  But today I feel as though someone hit me with a truck.  It's like my brain is trying to operate from outside my body.  It is a miracle that I am not drooling.  I wanted to work out today or go to dance class but maybe I can't.  I am going to try for a nice walk outside... I'll let you all know how I do.

Ava will be in Kindergarten in the fall.  Although, because her school is a montessori school, Kindergarten is simply the third year of the primary cycle, which goes from ages 2.9 to 6.  So it only called kindergarten because it is happening within the public school system.  The age cutoff in california is actually December 2... which seems late to me.  Her birthday is September 1 so she would be eligible wherever we lived.  Anyways, in montessori they all work on their own readiness level because the system is child led, and the mixed age classrooms remove the concerns about social readiness that I think an all the same age class might have.  Ava is so precocious and outgoing that I wouldn't be concerned about this for her, but I know some parents rightly are for their children.  She has been going to school all day since she was 2.9, and is already working with the kindergartners in her primary class this year on all the language and math skills.  She is starting to read, does addition and subtraction, and starting to write both words and numbers.  She will stay in her current classroom through the kindergarten year, then in the fall of 2010 she'll begin Lower Elementary (ages 6 through 9, grades 1, 2 & 3).

This works out well for us, we were loosely timing our child spacing so that we would not have two kids in college at the same time.  As it works out they will be 5 years apart in school, 4 and a half years apart in age.

xoxo

sleepy pregnant lady MaryStarr

MaryStarr

Hello

For some reason all the major headings on this blog is in Finnish. No clue how that happened but since I just know one word in Finnish, I really need to figure out how to get this all back in English. :)
Lisa has been going to pre-school since she was 2 and this June she will go to big school as she calls it. The criteria here is that the child has to be 4+ as of June 1st, so she is 9 months older for her class but I guess it's better that way. She writes pretty well, words like cat, mat, bat etc in cursive. I guess we start real early here and numbers from 1-70 or 80. They are like sponges at this age, teach them anything and they will learn. And she writes her name, except that she thinks it's ok to write it whichever way she pleases, like ILSA or SILA :) very cute.

Midnight Sun...

Michelle...yes, I actually read the Midnight Sun partial draft while working...I know, that is so horrible, but it was during my obsessive Twilight period and once I found out it was there, I couldn't pull myself away. I should get fired. I actually saved it to my desktop and whenever we weren't in meetings or something I would pull it up and get through a few pages...so bad!! I would say that it was one of my favorites in the series...I wish she would have finished it. Maybe someday. Have you read the Host? I really enjoyed it. It was very different from the Twilight books, but very enjoyable reading.

Gen...please keep us posted as we are all very concerned after your last post. What is going on? Stay strong!!! We love you!!!

RSS Feed

Does anyone have this blog set up as an RSS Feed? It is so cool. I get new posts in my email inbox. I don't know why I waited so long to jump on the RSS bandwagon.

I'm very sorry

Michelle,

Please accept my apology... and allow me to say thank you as well....

Yes, it was a slap, yes it was hard to read, but put all-together that way, is a real eye opener...
We have all vented about our husbands on this board, I believe (actually, maybe not Marystarr and Sarah), but I felt I was the target of your attention there !!!

The day I read your post, was a bad one....
And when I read it, it was just terrible terrible timing.... or perfect, actually.
It was the drop that made my vase overflow....

I've taken action, because his temper actually got worse
and I can no longer take this
And i don't want my kids exposed any longer....
I will try to post soon again...

I am trying to be strong for my children, as I got back to work in 3 weeks

Gen xxx

Autism and Books

Amy, is Fragile X Syndrome something that causes autism? I don't know very much about autism, but it sounds like Samuel is in good hands; in school and daycare and especially because you're his mother! What beautiful words you wrote about him!

Maigan, I admit I liked the love story aspect of the books too, so maybe that's why book 2 was so dissapointing that Edward stayed away for so long. I understand the need to develop the plot with Jacob though. Did you know that Stephenie Meyer posted half of the 4th book on her website? Apparantly it was plagarized so she stopped writing it, but I hope she'll finish it. It's Edward telling book 1. I wonder if she was planning to rewrite all the books in Edward's voice. Also, I had forgotten that you live in Washington. I'd love to visit that state one day, it seems so beautiful!

We're off to take the kids out to dinner!

More on Samuel

I have been researching high functioning autism. He is more than likely average to above average intelligence. He is extremely affectionate and normally very friendly which is unusual in autistic individuals (part of why he took so long to diagnose). We are looking into music therapy since he has always responded well to music.

I am going to have myself tested to see if I am a carrier of Fragile X Syndrome. We are not planning to have more children but I would like to know for Vivian future knowledge and for my younger sister (who might decide she wants to have another child eventually, she has one right now).

My daycare provider is great about it. She wrote a 100 page paper in college on autism and has worked with special needs children in the past. One of her own children had special needs as well, so we feel he is in good hands with her.

For preschool he attends the program through our public school system. He adores his teacher and is very happy there. He has an IEP (individual education plan) and has made progress. He is currently in a half day program there and will be attending a full day program instead of kindergarten next year. He will attend kindergarten in 2010.

I still cannot get over how incredibly fortunate I am to be his mother. I know that might sound odd with the road ahead, but I look forward it. There will be challenges, setbacks, frustration, and tears but those can be expected in any parenting journey. There is still the joy of watching him grow into the man he will become and of watching him discover his talents.

Amy

Michelle...

I have also read all of the Twilight books...I actually loved them more than Harry Potter...for some reason the love story aspect really drew me in. I know they are pretty far-fetched, but I had that teenage girl reaction...I instantly loved Edward and wanted to be Bella...very ridiculous I will admit, but I have to say I am a big fan. I have not seen the movie yet because we never really go to movies, but I have heard it's good, even though it is very different from the books.

Lizzy won't write her name either. The big problem with her is that every day she wants to be called by a different name...mostly that of a Disney Princess or cartoon character. It's hard to keep up with her, but since she won't answer to Lizzy she refuses to write it. She knows all of her upper and lower case letters and the sounds they make, but wants no part in putting them on paper. I am sure she will get over it in time, but it's very frustrating!!

So...Spokane is officially in a state of emergency. I don't think it's truly an emergency, but I guess in order to get assistance from National Guard they have to call it that. The kids have been out of school now for weeks...they had two days off before Christmas break...then the entire break...were supposed to go back on Monday, but couldn't and are still out. The problem is there is so much snow piled everywhere they have no sidewalks and it's very dangerous. They have the National Guard here now clearing roofs and snow piles to make it safe, and it's really warm so the snow is melting quickly, but it's been crazy. No big talks about flooding, but I'm sure that will come in the next day or two. I am actually sort of disappointed to see the snow melt. I love winter and sledding, so if it's going to melt I want it to hurry up and melt so we can get cold again and get new snow :)

Hugs!!

Samuel

Until the final assessment with the behavioral specialist next week we won't know for certain but it is looking like Samuel is high functioning autistic. It is not a surprise for us but it is kind of scary. I am actually pretty relieved that we know. I am going to be contacting our family doctor tomorrow about testing for fragile x syndrome.

Will write more later,
Amy

Amy,
As the mother of a special needs child (Matthew) I can sympathize with what you're going through. Matt started with a developmental specialist when he was about 18 months because he was behind in the verbal speech department. I encourage you to seek out every program out there. In GA we have a program called "babies can't wait". I'm sure your state has something similar. Be proactive for him. Don't let anyone say- "oh, it will get better, he'll grow out of it".
Matt has been in special ed, in school, since 2nd grade. During his 2nd grade year he was only in special ed for reading. Now, in 6th grade, he's full blown in special ed class for children with emotional/behavior disorders as well as developmental and ecucational problems. Matt's educational problem is that he has a verbal expression issue. Basically he can't put into words what he wants to say. He frequently uses the word "thingy" to describe stuff. On top of that he is ADHD and diagnosed BiPolar. Overall, it's a mess to deal with, but at least he is getting the help he needs. I have wondered if he fits into the Autism spectrum, but he's not been labeled that as of yet.
Please email me if you have any questions or want to talk. ~~

To my other ladies.......Love ya'll bunches.
Somewhere I missed the "controversial" post......but, hey, we've done pretty good to only have 1 in nearly 5 years!!!! Let's just all realize that whatever we say, none of us is trying to hurt anyone. (I'll take that generic "stance" since I am out of the loop...)

As for school, we will be putting Riley in Kindergarten in the fall. Her birthday is Aug. 16 (she was the early sept baby!). We had her in preschool last year and she thrived. I opted to not send her to Pre-K, because after talking to the teachers, she already knew more than they expected their students at the end of prek. She doesn't need it socially either. She's the most outspoken 4 yr old I've ever met!!!!

LOL.
On another note- Riley's competition cheerleading team won 1st place in their National Competition. !!!! whoo hoo!!!! They were so cute.
Ashley's team won 2nd place (different age groups). Now that cheer season is over until fall, both girls started gymnastics. (never a dull moment.).

I'm doing better some days, and worse others. It finally hit me, that what I'm experiencing is that the pain of loss is worse after the shock wears off. Yesterday was my first day back at work. I couldn't get "in my groove". It will come, eventually. Was I ready to go back? yes and no. Mentally I needed something else to think about, emotionally, I'm still pretty raw.

Christmas and New Years were too busy. We were in Orlando for the girls cheer competition over New Years. The weather was beautiful and that was awesome. I needed some sunshine.

Gen

Someone gave me a heads-up, and underlined how harsh it actually was. First, thanks to whoever pointed out to Gen how awful I was to her so that she could read my post already angry before she even read what I wrote.

Gen, I had forgotten about insulting you before; I don't remember what I said, although I imagine it was about Bruno's treatment of you. Go ahead and post whatever you want; I'll just ignore your posts. I don't stop in much anyway, so I don't want to take you away from the board. But when I have talked about my problems, I've always liked having outside opinions to help me work through whatever it was. And the problems I was having in my marriage, if you remember back a few years, was that I was having feelings for another man, a man who I never had quiet dinners or overnight camping trips with, who I was only cooresponding with through email and phone calls. When I realized he was a problem, I stopped talking to him. And even though I have posted in the past and made some small complaints about Scott, and even though you have never stepped over the line and called (my) husband names, insinuated behavior patterns, or accused him of anything, never have I, or anyone else here said about our husbands: He is ... aggressive, he's become verbally abusive....I surely don't want my kids exposed

So you say that your husband is verbally abusive to you and then want everyone to tell you that sounds great?

Maybe you should read some more of what you wrote: He is never home, and I feel very single...
I called home in the evening, Bruno tells me he invited her over for dinner,
He did take Erika camping -- but he brought another woman !!!
He did go meet her on a few occasion while biking with the kids, or stuff like that... Erika tells me : ) So he isn't telling you everything. I wonder what Erika didn't see.

And then you tell us how he is manipulating you and making you second-guess your instincts: He assures me I'm crazy to think there could be anything
whenever I get home, (from the medical treatments) he acts like I have taken for-ever....
I keep asking why he acts this way, and he tells me it's all in my head...
I tried to put myself under the microscope
Bruno thinks, but of course, that I'm brainwashing Erika.... which is absurd
The last 2 months have been him barking at me, and putting me down

I knew my letter would come across as harsh to you but all you do is complain about Bruno and how he puts you down. When is the last time you even said anything nice about him? When is the last time he's done something nice for you instead of his new BFF? And why do you tell us that he spends the night camping with another woman and your daughter, then become hurt when someone suggests that he's cheating? Do you really want to act blind to it all? I did intend my letter to be like a slap, whatever it takes to open your eyes. I also intended it to be a pep talk encouraging you to finally stand up for yourself.

There is a man in a networking group I belong to and over time I have gotten to know him fairly well. He's fairly good looking, a fun dad, and successful enough, but he is the biggest slime ball I've ever met because he brings his different girlfriends to our networking events while his wife of 10 years stays at home with the kids. He says he stays with her because of the financial benefits and because she takes good care of the kids. He's been dating other women since months after they were married. I don't even know his wife, but if she was my friend I would grab her shoulders and shake her, yelling "run, he's using you!" When I think of her I wonder how can she believe his constant lies? But I guess she is one of those women who really would rather turn the other cheek, and I was hoping you wouldn't be that way too, because that seems like the weaker, more submissive choice of all.

I know you aren't the type to enjoy being shaken up a little, but my god Gen, surely my well-meaning-yet-still-harsh post hasn't caused you nearly as much pain as Bruno's constant rejection has been and will continue to be over the years. It's your business how you handle your marriage, but stop letting him talk you out of what you can clearly see, and demand better treatment for yourself.

That being said, I am not the only one who has voiced a concern over Bruno's faithfulness to you. I am not going to discuss it again but I am glad that I voiced my opinion because you deserve to be treated better!

And I don't know why you would point out all this suspicious behavior to us if you didn't want someone to help you figure it out. I am not wrong about what he is doing with his other woman, but whatever you decide to do about it is your business. I want you to know that I care that YOU get through this time to find a better future. And if you choose to turn the other cheek, so be it, but at least I didn't allow him to walk over you without warning you first.



That being said, our Christmas was fun, I got this really neat special effects cookbook that teaches ways to make food move, smoke, make sounds, and lots of neat tricks for parties. I've also read the Twilight series since I got the books for the holiday. It's no Harry Potter like everyone compares them to, but good enough to enjoy. The kids are good. I am going to try to enroll Caleb in kindergarten this year. With two older siblings, he knows way beyond what they need to know at the begining of the year. The only thing is that he hates writing his name, so he isn't good at that. He's currently in an all day MWF preschool and he loooves it. It was nice having the kids home from school for almost 2 weeks.

~Michelle

School...?

So...I am curious...how many of you are putting your 2004 babies into kindergarten this year? I am not. In both Washington and Idaho the cutoff is September 1st for the kids to turn 5...Lizzy won't be 5 until the 13th. I am actually thrilled to have her home for another year. I think it will be better to keep her another year so she will always be one of the oldest and biggest kids in her class. I am not in any hurry to have her get big, and I figure this is a simple way for me to keep her little another year!!! On the flip side my little Allie will be starting just after her 5th birthday since she was born at the end of July so even though the girls are three years apart age wise, they will only be two years apart in school. I am a little worried about it because she is so little...I hope she has a major growth spurt over the next few years, otherwise it will be tough for her. Right now she is nearly 18months old and she is just now in an 18month size of clothes. They are actually big on her. Her last doctor visit she was in the <5% class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">category for her age. It's strange because Lizzy has always been tall and fallen somewhere in the middle for weight. I am still amazed how two children from the same parents can be so radically different...both in appearance and personality.

I didn't make any resolutions either. I never have and most likely never will. I can totally relate about the guilt issues though Amy. I have a lot of self-inflicted guilt for working and being away from my kids and Eli is the guilt-master. He has a knack for saying things to make me feel extremely guilty. I don't even think he realizes he is doing it most of the time. Last night we were picking up the house and I casually mentioned I would be attending a baby shower on Saturday for one of my co-workers and I was going to leave the girls with my parents for a couple of hours. His response was..."you sure don't care much about the kids anymore, do you?" Apparently, since I am not spending every minute of my weekend with the girls that means I do not love my children. He knows that isn't true, but he just spouts off his big mouth about stuff like that all the time without realizing how bad it makes me feel. I asked him later why he said that and why he says those things to me at all and he said that he was just mad because I am taking time to attend her baby shower when she didn't come to my baby shower. Technically he was mad at her and not me, but he thought that by making me feel guilty it would cause me to not go. Instead it made me cry and question my use of free time. It's totally ridiculous.

It's raining here today and it's supposed to be in the low 40's by the end of the week...they are really worried about serious flooding. We got 5 feet of total snow in December and now it's raining and melting...not a good combination.

Hello

Amy, what did you notice about Samuel that made you realize that he's probably a little behind for his age? I hope you get some positive responses from the specialist but it's also a good thing that you were able to identify the problem early.

I 'm not great at being very diplomatic or genteel when it comes to certain topics, all I have to say is that we need to be careful what we say, especially when it comes to relationships. We know very little about each others spouses and it's wrong to judge somebody based on what little we hear.

Happy New Year

I have no real resolutions for this year. Sad, I know. I just never got into making resolutions. They always made me feel like I had failed at something in the previous year and then I had feelings of guilt. Maybe that should be my resolution, feeling less guilt.

I feel guilty when the kids don't want me to go to work. I feel guilty whenever Ron and I have a disagreement even when I know it is not my fault. I just cannot escape the guilty feeling. But if I failed to feel less guilty over things then I would just feel even guiltier.

The biggest news for us right now is that Samuel is going to a behavioral specialist on Wednesday. He is behind verbally and socially and there is obviously a problem. The good news is that our daycare provider, preschool teacher, and family doctor all agree that whatever the problem he is high functioning with it and can obviously make progress (that is why it has taken so long to diagnose). His latest is that he loves Alice Cooper and walks around singing 'No More Mr Nice Guy.'

We all want the best for each other and written words can come out in completely unintended ways. There is no vocal cues to go off of to understand the true meaning. Something meant gently and lovingly can come out harsh and cruel.

Amy

Happy Sunday

It's nice and sunny here today, which is a nice change from the rain we had for the past three days.  And today I am officially 20 weeks along, which is cool.  That means that if this one is born at 38 weeks like Ava then I am more than halfway there.  woot!

I was home most of the week because Ava was out of school for the holidays... it was nice to have a break from teaching but boy, being a stay at home mom sure is tough for me.  I get really cabin feverish and very much in need of personal space.  I adore my daughter, don't get me wrong... I am just not cut out for being an at home parent unless it includes time away each day for some independent focus on my own pursuits.

So... 2009. How about that?  Anyone have any specific goals for this year?  Obviously this will be a big year for us all, with many of our september 2004 kids starting kindergarten.  Hard to believe, really.  So for us it is mostly about our family growing, Matt hopefully taking over the executive chef position at his hotel when his chef leaves in february, and maybe us buying an apartment... which would be really exciting.  Personally I am also committing to practicing yoga and with flossing my teeth EVERY DAY.  

In other thoughts, I just want to say that everyone has different ideas about when to speak and when to hold their tongue when they have ideas about anothers life.  BUT no matter how good our intentions, we need to pair them with grace and a sense of who we are speaking to.  Not everyone responds well to tough love, and at this point we know each other well enough that we all know who does and who doesn't.  It is hard to listen to a friend complain about being mistreated and not want to fix it for her, but I learned a long time ago here that some of us aren't asking for solutions, just sharing and venting.  That was challenging for me, because I am a pretty action oriented person, I don't tend to vent about things for comfort.  But I can understand that Gen does, I think for her just sharing what is happening is enough.  When she is ready she will come to her own  plan and make her own choices, only she can know what the right choices are.  The hardest part of loving someone is waiting for them to come to things in their own time... but it is important that we don't seek to relieve our own minds by telling her to do it our way.  Whatever your intentions you still have to ask yourself if your words will really do good, or do harm, to the ears that hear them.  When in doubt, I think the gentlest path is best.

much love

MaryStarr

Hello again,

I was not even aware of Michelle's post initially. Someone gave me a heads-up, and underlined how harsh it actually was.
Anyways, I have said my piece on it, and I won't go into it any further.

I will - however - get through these very difficult times for my kiddoes and devote my body and soul to them for the time being, and post again perhaps at another time. My last days on maternity leave are worse than hell, and I feel so very alone.


Gen xxx

big love

gen-
i have to agree with maigan- i think that michelle's words were from the heart. only strong sentiments can come from strong feelings. we have been together too long to be coy. i know that i become very protective of those that i love and much more indifferent to those that i do not. we all love you and i think that we are concerned for you. bruno's behavior is suspect at best and down right dishonest and unforgivable at worst. you deserve to be happy and to be with a man that will treat you with respect and dignity. if that is bruno, it is not for us to say- it is for you to decide. it just seems that he likes to play emotional games sometimes. there was his behavior after your wedding and then when you were pregnant with ericka that first gave us the impression that he could be manipulative and selfish. however, we only see tidbits of your relationship and must make our impressions from them. unfortunately, we don't all live in the same town and see each other daily so our views of situations will be limited. i think what everything comes down to is that we love you and want you to be happy. it is only natural that we become protective of you and your situation. i hope that you see our posts not as a reproach but as supportive input from your friends. hell, i posted that dan had sex with another woman while i was pregnant with avery ! there was no ambiguity; i know what has happened. but i posted anyway because i needed support and advice. did i like everything that was said ? no. i was hurt, angry, and relieved. personally, i needed to hear different points of view because i was tired of running the same thoughts through my head. for your situation, you can only follow your heart and mind. we are here for you and love you. we are not here to judge, only to support.
i hope that this helps
kri

My Thoughts...

You know...I am usually not one to speak for other people, but I have to say in the matter concerning Michelle and Gen...I cannot believe that Michelle intended to be hurtful, only honest. Sometimes it takes a bold statement for someone to realize what is going on around them and I believe in my heart that Michelle was just trying to provide a bit of outside observation designed to help you realize what may be happening right in front of you Gen. I think we have all been together too long to want to hurt one another, all of us have had issues come and go over the past 5 years and I know I personally value all of your opinions, no matter how brash they might be. I hope you both continue to post and I hope that all of us say what is in our hearts, even if it is not full of rainbows and flowers.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to you all. Yes, we survived it :)

Loved all the pictures.

Maigan, one couple actually organized a pre-wedding party on New Years Eve and I thought that was not a nice thing to do. They are actually family but I decided not to go, instead some 8 of us camped at my cousins place.

Gen, especially for you this year, a BIG bear hug.