To post or not to post......

31st -- Gosh, time flies !!!

and can you believe it, Cedrik was walking at x-mas ? 10 months and 3 weeks old ?

Now, Gosh, where to start...
Firstly, I shared with you gals, in need. I am pleased with all your support. Thank you. Which is why I felt comfortable sharing in the first place, event though, in the past, when sharing, someone wrote back some pretty hurtful things...
In the time of need, I felt kicked while I was down.

I had stopped sharing.

I felt comfortable again, as I didn't think this person had joined our new and improved look and board !!!

But this is TWICE --- Michelle, I have never stepped over the line and called your husband names, insinuated behavior patterns, or accused him of anything
...even though you also shared some pretty difficult moments you were having with him...
I don't think you should be giving out any marital advice actually.

Hurt me once, shame on you
Hurt me twice, shame on me

I can sense that you mean me well, but I don't approve of the paths you took nor words chosen

Gen xxx

Gen, are you there?

Hey girl... just wondering how you're doing and missing you.  Please check in and say hi?  I have a feeling you might feel awkward or upset about what Michelle wrote to you, and if so I just want you to know that you should always feel comfortable being here no matter what... this place is your place too.  I know that she was really writing out of love, even if it came off pretty harsh, but if it upset you please don't let it drive you away... We love you and need you here, friend.

Maybe I am imagining it, and if so, just ignore me.  You know I never can mind my own business ;p

xoxoxo

MaryStarr

Christmas

We had a pleasant Christmas. We opened presents in the morning and then took the kids sledding. We went to a friends house for supper and just had a nice, simple day.

Photos

Ok, so much did I love Reena and Maigan's posts that I had to share some of my own... Matt and I bought ourselves a new digital slr camera for christmas instead of exchanging gifts... and Matt has become a regular Ansel Adams with the picture taking.  I myself have not taken the time to realy figure the camera out yet, but luckily daddy is getting to be a pro.  Which is nice actually, because usually I am the picture taker and hence we have not many pictures of mama.

Here is our Tree on christmas eve after santa came

Here is bunny and her list for santa

Here is my belly back on the 11th, which would have been almost 17 weeks... please excuse the no bra pointy nips look

Here is Bunny in one of Daddy's new master shots

Here is the pregnant lady and the bunny dancing

here is bunny as Ed Grimly, looking for Pat Sajak

here is Ava's new masterpiece

love you all... MaryStarr

Let it snow...and snow...and snow!!!

It's official...we have broken the record for most recorded snowfall in the month of December in recorded history...the official count in this mornings newspaper is 59.7"...nearly 5 feet of snow. I don't know what the deal is with the picture being so small...but that is one days worth of accumulation on our back deck. It's insane.

We made it thru Christmas...despite the snow. The girls had a great time opening presents and spending time with the grandparents!! Eli and I didn't exchange gifts this year, but had a lot of fun watching the kiddos. We opened presents at home on Christmas morning then headed to my MIL's house in the afternoon...then off to my parents house for dinner. There was a lot of eating going on!! Here are some pictures....

This is at Eli's mom's house on Christmas day. She made us a delicious late breakfast and then we went sledding with my BIL and his family....

This one was actually the weekend before Christmas...Allie was home sick with a snot face so she didn't get to go, but Lizzy was quite the little princess in her fancy dress and glitter shoes...

This is sledding Christmas day with my nephew...

This is actually from this past weekend...after the sledding on Christmas we realized our sled was a piece of junk so we went to Costco and got this fancy new ride...Lizzy likes it because it has lava on it...Allie just thought it was cool to lay on....

Back to Christmas morning at our house...Lizzy got the 3D version of Shark Boy and Lava Girl so the girls were wearing the glasses around the house...it was funny.

Hope everyone survived the holiday season...I guess it's not quite over yet, but almost. I am a little irritated because one of my co-workers is getting married on New Year's Eve...I think that's a very bad time to have a wedding, and I hate the thought of bringing in the new year with the people I work with, but I have little choice. It's not like I would have gone out to a party or something, but that's not the point.

Hope you had a lovely Christmas!

Make a Smilebox greeting

19 weeks now

And doing well.  Weighed myself yesterday and I have gained 9 pounds so far, so I am feeling ok about that.  Although, we had cheesecake for dessert last night after our belated christmas dinner, so I may have gained another nine while I slept... lol.

Matt had to go in to work on christmas day at 1pm to serve a banquet to the Boston celtics (PUNKS) who were in town to play the golden state warriors friday.  SO we had a big celebration early in the morning with presents and stockings and a big Irish Breakfast.  Then after he went in Ava and I went to an afternoon carol service at Grace Cathedral which was beautiful and fun for me because singing hymns is probably my biggest childhood association with christmas.  The service was all hymn singing and they read poetry in beteween... ee cummings and elizabeth barrett browning and others.  Super nice.

We had a dinner last night, my sister and her husband came over.  It was actually nice to split it up like that, so I think we will make that our tradition... although ideally Matt can stay with us on christmas day and not go cook for basketball players (PUNKS).

Sorry your christmas was such a bummer Kri.  How about everyone else?

xoxo

MaryStarr

tis the season...

well, our christmas sucked too. first off, half of our presents were wrong (two left shoes, broken toy; guy at best buy gave me a computor monitor rather than the flat screen i paid for, etc). also, my mom just got out of the hospital on x-mas eve after a bout with pneumonia and 8 day stay only to go to the ER xmas day with severe abdominal cramping. so i spent seven hours in the ER until they admitted my mom. then had to deal with the chaos of trying to find sitters for girls since dan and i work fri and sat. could only find a sitter for sat so i had to call off today. but this also means that i can't go to the last Saints game or tailgating party.
there has been more but you guys can probably sense the general sucky-ness of the last week. oy vey, i need a vacation........
yeah right
kri

Snow, Snow and then more Snow

I'm not sure if you guys know or not but our area with hit with a snow storm that is quite unusual. In the 15 years or so of living in this area I've never seen so much snow. We have about a foot or so. Well the first day it snowed I went outside to take pictures. I did not plan on being out long so I popped on my crocs and headed out. No skidding or sliding so I thought I was safe. What I did not think about was the ice under the snow. On my way back to the house I slid on some ice and fell on top of my ankle. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. Then I had to walk back to the house. Hurting myself was nothing compared to having to go up stairs. I almost passed out from the pain. I eventually went to the ER the next day. (my dad helped me with the boys all day while Tim was at work and was unable to leave) I sprained my ankle good, no fractures or breaks. However I have not had too much time to just sit back and be pampered you see; when it snows like this the security for the hospital (where Tim works) becomes transport for the hospital. They have to go and pick up people for work that can not drive in and occasionally take a patient home. So I've lost him to the snow. In the meantime it sucks having a sprained ankle. But I can put some weight on it now without screaming. I took some pictures of the boys in the snow. I hope you guys are having a better Christmas break than I am!

christmas pictures

Merry Christmas everyone....here are a couple pics from Christmas at my moms. (we did early christmas yesterday, because of the travel, etc)
The first picture is of me and my sister....
:)

still here...

i just got off of five straight shifts so i have been MIA from here...and my life this week. gotta finish x-mas shopping tomorrow and monday because i work all next week (except christmas day) so it's crunch time.
good lord, avery is screaming...
much love
kri

awfully quiet in here

Hi gals...

how is everyone doing?  I know it is almost christmas but let's not forget to check in and say hi... I miss you all.

big hugs

MaryStarr

Hey

Hey Ladies,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I started a new job last week. I work at a temporary staffing agency that supplies blue collar work. I send people out to the job sites, pay them when they get back, handle new applications, etc.

I will try to catch up and post more later. In case I don't, have a great holiday season.

Amy

no worries

Hi Michelle,

so good to have you back.  I am not offended about the terrorism issue, but I'd like to clarify for you that I do not believe that America is "to blame" for the terrorism in mumbai.  I think you misunderstand me.  I meant to express to Reena that I understand her feeling as though our foreign policy, which has destabilized the middle east, has endangered others.  And while I don't totally agree with her that the attacks in Mumbai were just because of Iraq, I wanted her to know that many people here are as frustrated by the issue as she is.  Frankly, terrorism out of Pakistan is related to many factors... India and Pakistan's serious disagreements over the past 20 years, our refusal to engage Pakistan in diplomatic negotiations to insist on them cleaning up their act, and yes, the war in Iraq diverting resources from us finding Osama Bin Laden and breaking up Al Quaeda in Afghanistan and now Pakistan.

I also have friends in Afghanistan and Iraq.  And I concur about terrorists being their own devils, not devils we made.  My point is that our government has not made us safer abroad with their response to terrorism, they have made us less safe and this is partly an example of that.

Hope that helps..

xoxo

MaryStarr

Gen...

I just wanted to say that I just read Michelle's comment...I fully agree with her comments about Bruno...I definately thing something is suspect...you need to put your foot down Gen.

Also...that story about the woman and her baby might be the most disturbing thing I have ever heard...I think about myself being in that situation and I am filled with pain and deep deep sorrow for that woman. I pray that she is in a better place with her baby.

We live in a sick, cruel world.

Morning Ladies

I only have 5 mintues becuase the office is almost open, but I wanted to pop in and say hi...it's been mind-numbing cold here...not quite as bad as it was when I lived in North Dakota, but close. They are saying the wind chill has been around -30 and the ambient temp this morning was 3. Not fun. To top it all off, Eli has been in California for three weeks, so I have been holding down the fort on my own. I am not good at being a single mom of two small princesses. They are very demanding. I will be able to go back thru and respond to posts probably tomorrow morning, but I can't make any promises.

Compliance is in our office today, and I have my yearly review with my district manager...I'm sure it will be a very lovely day...much much sarcasm in that comment.

I love you all!!!

Maigan

hello ladies...

i have finally caught up and read all of the posts. i find that it is hard to sit down and reply since i am working a lot and trying to fit in christmas shopping on my few days off. i guess that is my way of apologizing for a quickie post and (most likely) not replying to everyone.
gen-oh my darling, i hope things get better with you. dan and i hit a serious shit patch post-Katrina and almost didn't make it. somehow it is different when a relationship hits a sour note when you have kids. the rules are different and there are more than two people involved, ultimately. big hugs and lots of love.
sarah- how are you all doing ?
keli- is scott still being a shit ? you know you can always pack up the girls and drive my way for a little break ! i am pretty sure that we are the closest two in location. if you bring the music, i'll supply the drinks
marystarr- you must be the cutest pregnant pilates instructer ever.
reena- keep us posted on your thyroid. synthroid is a very good medication

damn- i am sure that i am forgetting tons but it is getting time for bed. got to get up at 4am for work. i am printing up some x-mas cards for the girls that i want to send out so if you could please send me your addresses. i am sure that i have everyone's but i want confirmation anyway :) i'm pretty type-A like that....

love and kisses and hugs
kri
krikelley@excite.com

update

I saw my doctor again Tuesday. He had all the test results in. The genetic and autopsy tests were all normal. He has labeled this a "cord accident", meaning that something happened to the umbilical cord, be it a knot or a kink or something freaky, that caused the loss of Andrew.

If we are ever succesful in pregnancy again, I will be monitored more than usual.

It's just one of those odd things that happens in like 1:1000 pregnancies. I just wish it hadn't been mine!

Love to all!

sarah

hello

hi gals

Michelle just emailed me to say she couldn't post, so i invited her again and hopefully now she will be joining us shortly.  I miss her lots and lots.  So I can't wait to hear how she and her beautiful family are all doing...

Reena it's no big deal for me to dance during pregnancy.  I am a professional dancer, and I have done it essentially everyday since I was 11 years old.  I didn't dance while I was pregnant with Ava only because I was too shy to go to class pregnant in New York, not because I was concerned about it being dangerous or anything.  Basically, women can continue to do their usual fitness routine throughout pregnancy as long as they are mindful of their perceived exertion level (ie: not exhausted, out of breath to the point of not being able to talk, or overheated) and remembering to drink lots of water and eat enough to have appropriate weight gain.  So women marathoners run, skiers ski, skaters skate and dancers dance.  And especially for me, because I have gestational diabetes, exercise is very important to my health and baby's health during pregnancy.  I have to control my blood sugar with exercise and diet because I don't want to take insulin.

I just ordered cloth diapers for baby (who I have nicknamed Rerun, btw).  Check em out:

http://stores.ebay.com/Coolababy2008

I got the 12 coolababy all in ones w/ 24 inserts, multi colors  and the 16 fleece all in ones in yellow and white stripes.  Wicked cute and super easy!

ok,

love you all

MaryStarr

Guess Who??

Hey everyone! I know its been a long time, but I'm going to jump right in.

First Sarah, I am so sorry about your loss. I hope the love and prayers from your friends and family has been helping you get through this.

Reena, I am also sorry your country was attacked by terrorists. But I disagree with you and MaryStarr implying that is is America's fault. Terrorists have attacked multiple countries and we are the country that started trying to stop them. Of course Bush is an ass who tried to incorporate our oil war into the terrorist war. But the terrorists that live in caves in Pakistan and shoot rockets at my friends in Afghanistan have no value for human life, and have twisted views on right and wrong. My military friend saw an Iraqi woman chained to a wall, with her breasts cut off, her baby in her arms. Both had to starve to death, and she had to watch her baby go first, unable to feed her. They program their children to kill other people. They brain wash people to be suicide bombers. The world needs to work together to stop terrorists.

Not to mention India has been at war off and on with Pakistan over Kashmir over the past 20 years. That could also be fuel added to the fire, not just us Americans.

And Gen, I am sorry that you are going through hard times with Bruno. Why won't you leave him? I am big on trying to work out marriages, but he is an asshole, and a liar. He does NOT have a woman friend. He thinks by telling you about her, saying she's married, somehow justifies his affair. But he is having one, whether you allow yourself to see it or not. I first suspected him of being capable when he wouldn't have sex with you for a year, but this is another step. Its almost like he is trying to tell you but you won't listen. Camping? Dinner at your house when you're gone? No. Those are not allowed when you are married. A lunch here and there is acceptable, a double date with you and her husband is allowed, but I draw the line at over night stays. (Camping and the dinner night--why was he late to the wedding?) I hope you will too. Maybe his month off will help, but if he wants to work things out with you he has to be kept on a short leash. He needs to allow you to call the shots. And he must stop his "friendship" with this other woman. He has a lot to proove if he wants to stay. And you are right on about your kids learning to be abusive from him. Don't allow that to happen! Oh, and the whole weight loss and exercising is another huge sign that he is trying to impress someone. Stop letting him manipulate you so you can enjoy your life. You need and deserve so much more than he is giving you. And, you and he should probably both get checked out for STD's. Who knows how many men she's cheated on her husband with, and unfortunately the same goes for Bruno.

Sorry for just barging in here after so long and flapping my mouth in the way that I did. I know I was bitchy and I hope I didn't offend anyone, but I was shocked at some of the things I read! I also know your marriage Gen is none of my business, but despite my absence I care about you and want you to be happy. It is my opinion, and you don't have to take it as advice if you don't want to and I am not trying to attack you in any way. In my own way, I am trying to help give you the strength to do what is going to be hard for you. Your future is what you make of it, and I know you can have a blissful future when this hard time passes.

I know I missed some updates, but I hope everyone is healthy. I'll update more on what I've been up to later.

~Michelle

Where is everyone?

Almost like, when I decided to write, everybody else disappeared. :)

Marystarr, that's pretty brave to continue dancing during pregnancy. I did see some pictures on facebook, very nice :)

Lisa had a fall on Sunday and she split her chin, got 8 stitches! Tomorrow we go back to get the sutures removed. Needless to say that I almost lost my mind.

I had to get some retests, haven't started any medication for the hypothyroidism because the reports are not conclusive enough. I have to wait another 6 weeks. I haven't had issues with my weight, I even lost around 5 pounds recently so who knows.
But surely the acne on my right cheek is still a mystery, and I have to wait for 4 cycles of medication to see any results, just finished 2.
Here is a picture of my classmates from school, we go back to almost 2 decades and met up recently. Me-3rd from the left.

ok ok ok FINE. I'll write something...

yeesh y'all are quiet.  Ho hum.

Gen, beeyootiful christening pictures.  What a charming little man your Cedrik is growing up to be.  How's it going with Bruno and the whole month off business?

Sarah, much love to you.  Only you will know when you are ready.  Take care of your body and your heart, dear one.

All of a sudden it's been busy around here.  My business had been super slow, what with the one two punch of the economy taking a crapper and the holidays arriving... so several of my clients literally lost everything they had and are scrambling to sell their vacation homes, etc and finding themselves to poor for pilates.  The others have done the classic "wow, I am so busy for the rest of this month with the holidays and everything... why don't i just call you in January?"  As a general rule people will take ANY excuse not to exercise.  So I was really feeling it hard.  But somehow this week Things picked up and now I am super busy.  An old client came back, plus I got a new referral for a housecall client that wants me to come to her house 4 to 8 hours a week.  Thank heavens.  So that's why I have been quiet.

Also, my dance teacher is back from tour and I have had class, which is great because dancing feels really good and makes me less crazy and obsessive about my body.  When I am training I am much more peaceful and grounded and less of a constant critic of myself.  And interestingly enough, now that my belly is really starting to grow dancing feels AWESOME.  I am much more in tune with the experience of it, physically and energetically.  Usually I am so focused on performing well and executing that I forget to enjoy it completely.  This is nice.  I hope I can take it with me after the pregnancy is over so that I have grown as a dancer this year... even if it isn't my biggest year for technical achievements.  It is a good time to work on subtle energies, details, nuance.  Mmmmmmmmmm.  Yummy.

How are you all?  I miss Michelle.  Michelle, can you hear me?  Where are you friend?

xoxo

MaryStarr

Erika & Santa + one of Cedrik's Christening picture

Hi

Sarah, please remember always that you are in my prayers. I don't think I can say anything that is even comforting right now, but hope you get your strength back physically and emotionally.

Well, with the bomb blasts in Mumbai, the people are really angry and forced several ministers to resign. There are elections coming up in 5 months and we are pretty sure that the current govt. is not going to stay in power.
Here is a story of a brave nanny who saved the life of a Jewish toddler:

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/12/02/moshe.mumbai/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
Obama has a tough job ahead of him, but at least we know that the foreign policies are heading for a change and that gives the rest of the world some hope.

Sarah, My thoughts and prayers are still with you.

It is going to be a busy week. Vivian is having friends from school over to decorate gingerbread houses so I have to bake and assemble those. Then there are cupcakes and pumpkin bread to make for the tea party they will have after they are done decorating houses (I still do not understand the appeal of a tea party to little girls, I never was very girly and didn't get into that sort of thing). Ron is going to take the boys out to make my life easier and 1 of the moms asked if I would like her to stay and help.

update

So today I saw my OB/GYN for a post op check up.
The results from the autopsy were negative for any defects. That was both reassuring and disheartening. He believes there was a "cord accident". Genetic testing is still pending, but with the autopsy showing nothing unusual, likely it won't either.

He has given us the go ahead to try again after the first of the year, or after 2cycles. Either way, we are going to see how we are doing emotionally and if I am ready.

Chris is doing much better than I am. Emotionally I know he is gone, and that no baby can replace him, but it's just hard. I can say that I am doing better this week than last, so that is some progress.

Hugs to all, you are my girls, my love!

sarah